Miss Managed

Miss Missy: [looking earnest]: "Can I tell you something?"

Miss Missy is one of the teachers at Spud's daycare. All teachers in the school are apparently referred to as "Miss _________" by the (older, linguistically competent) students and apparently by the staff and maybe even each other (except, presumably, the one male teacher). I was unsure if I should use the same terminology when addressing them; the first week Spud was enrolled, I got half way through saying "Hello Miss Missy", called an audible midway through, and it came out "Hello Miss-ss-ssy". Good save.

John [always expecting it to be bad]: "What? Is it bad?"

Miss Missy: "Well, I'm quitting this job on December 23rd. So next week is my last week."

We were just getting used to Miss Missy and Miss Tonya. So now we will be leaving Spud with another TOTAL STRANGER at daycare (whoever replaces Miss Missy, presumably Miss somebody or other) and hope she does not have a criminal record as long as your arm and pray that she doesn't put Spud in the microwave the first chance she gets.

[The next day]

Claire: "Miss Missy told me that her last two paychecks bounced. That's one of the reasons she's leaving as sooner than she originally planned."

Miss Missy got married a few weeks ago, and she's heading to South Carolina with her new husband so he can start a new job. Which is sad, because South Carolina is one of the shittiest states in the nation. I feel nervous living as close to the border with South Carolina as we do, and it's a good 40 miles away. But you can hear the banjos playing all the way up here.

Spud's daycare is the highest-rated in the area. It's got five stars. Five out of five. Claire and I did the math: considering the number of students they have, they are taking in 50 large a month in that place. How is it they are bouncing checks? Hence, the amusing title of this post.

Anyway, so the concern now is that: a) they need to replace Miss Missy, and b) they have an apparent funding shortfall, so c) they will hire someone with sub-par credentials on the cheap named "Miss guided" or "Miss creant" or "Miss demeanor" who doesn't like babies at all but needs a job so she can lay low until the cops stop looking for her.

Or maybe the new Miss will be great. In that case, my Miss take.