The Daily Spud

A Large Part of His Brain Is Also Devoted to Waffles

2011-12-21T22:13:00.002-05:00

Waterfalls

2011-10-13T23:11:00.002-04:00

We are embarked on a great journey to Virginia and New York. Virginia, to hang out with Grandpa while he got his heart worked on, and New York to go to a wedding. Here are some waterfalls that we've seen.

Great Falls, VA

Ithaca Falls, NY

Taughannock Falls, NY

Something Something Falls, NY

Toddler + Warm Muffin = Smile

2011-07-27T11:24:00.000-04:00

Did He Have a Lampshade on His Head?

2011-07-08T23:35:00.004-04:00

Every day we get an 'activity report' from daycare. Today, he ate all of his lunch (good news for Daddy) and took a good long nap (good news for Mommy). He apparently did not get a diaper change (alarming for both parents. More likely, the teachers are just slacking off on the documentation again. Give us the BM information!)

Apparently they are making him eat dirt. We will have to look into this.

The 'Special Message' on the report today was also modestly alarming.

No more root beer for you, mister!

Dancin' Tie-Dyed Hippie Slacker

2011-06-25T12:26:00.021-04:00

One of his favorite "movies" is "Movie Music," which Grandpa and Grandma Chadwick gave him. He watches it almost every day. The music reverberates in our brains like the little beads in a maraca. It hearkens back to the Itsy Bitsy Spider days of the bouncy chair. At least he's getting some exercise. There are other times though that we question the value of television for a toddler when he just stares at it, his eyes all glazed over. That might not be healthy.

A Taste of Summer

2011-06-18T11:25:00.002-04:00

Charlotte held its annual 'Taste of Charlotte' downtown last weekend. A mile or so of booths lining the main street, selling food and food-related and food-unrelated items. You walk along, you spy something that looks potentially delicious, you sample.

We tried some sushi. The trick was to keep Benjamin from poking all six of our eyes out with the chopsticks.

The bubble machine was a huge hit.

So was the fountain. I think he wanted to get in and cool off with that other kid. He looks pretty happy.

It started to warm up by noon. We ended up hitting the smoothies pretty hard.

Via a combination of strolling, getting Daddy to carry him, and self-propulsion, Benjamin made it the whole way to the end and back to the car.

Sparkling Natural Wonder, Overwhelming Toddler Indifference

2011-06-04T21:15:00.002-04:00

The fireflies are here! Those flashy bugs are one of the major elements of summertime for a kid, so I'm glad Benjamin is growing up in a place that has them. Does Charleston have fireflies? I'm sure it does. Pocatello did not. It had cockroaches, hobo spiders, and crows. And the very occasional moose.

No, I did not take that photo.

I actually spent a few moments wondering whether to teach Benjamin the word "firefly" or "lightning bug". It seemed important.

We let Benjamin stay up until dusk, an hour after his 7:30 bedtime, so he could see the show. He was delighted for a few minutes, but then started looking at other things (sticks, cars driving by, airplanes). I was hoping to see Magical Wonder in his eyes for an extended period of time, but it quickly dissolved into what looked a little bit more like Typical Boredom.

Hot

2011-06-04T13:38:00.000-04:00

Nothing says "Summer" like watermelon in the swimming pool. OK, scorching heat and unbearable humidity say "Summer" too. Hence the need for the watermelon and swimming pool.

Charleston Road Trip

2011-05-30T14:24:00.003-04:00

School's. Out. For. Summer! So we decided to go down to our brand new city by the ocean and have a look around. On the way down, we stopped and bought Benjamin a cake/lolli-pop (only in America). It was not immediately clear to him that he was supposed to eat it. Is it a toy of some kind? We have yelled at him so many times for eating things that he isn't supposed to eat (leaves, sticks, coins, the Nerf football, the cats) that he's probably a little gun-shy when it comes to tasting new objects.

Finally, he took a bite.

We drove around James Island and Mt. Pleasant, two suburbs of Charleston that we might live in. Then we went to one of the nearby beaches, Folly Beach.

We went seashell hunting. Aunt Larissa and I used to hunt for shells at Assateague Island on family beach trips. "Snail shells" were the coin of the realm.

We spotted sailboats, wind-surfers, and airplanes.

The first time we went to the beach, he didn't want to touch the sand or the water. The second time, he liked the sand but still hated the water. This time, eh, the water's not so bad.

As long as it's less than shin-deep.

Grandpa has a story about me at the beach when I was a toddler. I fearlessly headed off down the beach for a long while before I realized I didn't know where I was. My Dad was following at a discrete distance to secretly find out how far I'd get before I looked around and realized I was lost. Benjamin headed off down the beach himself on this trip, but he was after the kite-surfers that were about a half-mile down the beach (I don't think he has a good grasp of distances just yet). He kept turning around to make sure that I was following and to shout detailed yet incomprehensible instructions to me ("Man Kite! Two!), but I think he would have attempted the journey on his own if I hadn't grabbed him.

Wussat?

2011-05-16T11:50:00.000-04:00

He stopped saying "Dis?" cold-turkey last month and replaced it with "Wussat?"

Wussat? That's a merry-go-round!

Four successive rotations:

Kempa: Expert Plumber, Electrician, and Bedtime Storyteller

2011-05-15T17:51:00.003-04:00

Kempa came down from Blacksburg again to visit and help us unhook and re-hook our kitchen plumbing before and after our new "granite" (monzodiorite; sorry, we're geologists) countertops were installed. They look great, but now everything else in our kitchen looks like shit in comparison.

Kempa also took over the pre-bedtime storytelling duties. Plumbing, electrician-ing, and Grandpa-ing...Kempa does it all with style and aplomb!

On Saturday we went out to NoDa and got egg sandwiches at Amelie's and then went to Smelly Cat for delicious coffees and hot chocolates.

Sweet Stuff

2011-05-13T13:11:00.000-04:00

Benjamin went to the doctor for a (slightly late) 2 year checkup and to get a polio booster shot. He has now topped 30 lbs, so carrying him is becoming more of a challenge, especially considering all 30 lbs is usually flailing wildly.

His shots have always been administered in the same special room in the doctors office. For the first time ever, he looked around the room and immediately knew where he was and started crying preemptively. His brain is now capable of remembering, which means he is now capable of harboring long-term grudges. He has become a high-level sentient and aware being, like Skynet. His evil powers can only increase now.

His fury about the shot was short-lived, because he got his very own lollipop. He enjoyed it immensely, although probably didn't enjoy having both of his parents hovering over him and incessantly reminding him to lick it and not stuff the whole thing all at once down his gullet.

We went for a bike ride last weekend and he got to try some honeysuckle. Our fears that he would subsequently see every plant as possibly edible appear to be unfounded.

Benjamin 2.0

2011-04-24T13:16:00.193-04:00

Benjamin's second birthday was an Easter-stravaganza, since both holidays landed on the same day this year. This won't happen very often, since the date of Easter Sunday is highly variable (22 March to 25 April), calculated using the Papal supercomputers in Rome and the following mathematical algorithm:

Easter Julian Day = a * z/3 (d + 2x)

a = date of the full moon in March (but it's not a pagan holiday!)
z = number of pigeons observed on St. Peter's Basilica during last year's Easter mass
d = number of roman numerals following current Pope's name
x = number of years since Galileo exonerated for sin of objectively observing nature

There was a practice Easter egg hunt at Benjamin's daycare on Thursday. He proved to be an expert hunter of the prized plastic ovoids.

Unfortunately, he insisted on opening each one after he found it. Each time he did this, the candy fell on the ground (see below). This slowed him down considerably and allowed the other kids to procure some of my, er, his candy.

He understood only one guiding rule for the activity: Find Easter eggs. Therefore, he could not really be faulted when he later started "finding" eggs in the baskets of some of the other kids.

Benjamin's friend Payton was not as enthusiastic about egg hunting as some of the other kids, so Benjamin shared some of his hard-won Starburst with her. Ladies Man. I wonder where he got that?

Later that day we drove up to Blacksburg, and the next morning we drove to Harrisonburg so I could give a seminar to my undergraduate geology department at JMU. The three professors that had the biggest influence on my career are still there, after almost 25 years. It was great to see the folks in the department and see my old stompin' grounds, and stomp around on them again with Claire and Benjamin.

Back to Blacksburg and Grandpa and Grandma's house for the big birthday celebration! Grandma's sister Aunt Sandy and Uncle George drove in for the occasion, and Aunt Larissa and Uncle Eric were there too.

We divided the day into halves; morning was for Easter activities, and later we had birthday activities. Having honed his egg-hunting skills in the crucible of the cutthroat competitive hunt at daycare just days before, this lone hunt was just too easy for him.

Next year I'll hide them in locations that are high above the ground. This will add more of a multi-dimensional challenge to the activity, and will be more like my own childhood experience of finding eggs on top of bookshelves and picture frames. I envisioned the Easter Bunny as a 6-foot-tall, lumbering, buck-toothed giant of a rabbit. Possibly rabid. Easter morning was somewhat frightening as a result. One did not want to catch that massive creature in your living room while it was hiding those eggs. Shudder.

Happy Easter Birthday!

Where's my cake??!!

Check out my new wheels!

Toys! Toys! Toys!

More toys!

And the Terrible Twos begin!

"Sure"

2011-04-23T12:46:00.028-04:00

He learned the word "no" long before he learned "yes." But recently he's decided to use a different word: "Sure." When he started doing this, we weren't "sure" what he was saying; it sounds like "Shuw" (i.e. his r sounds like a w). He is now widely known at daycare as the kid that says "sure" all the time (as opposed to "dis?", which was his trademark word last year).

He was crying one night at bedtime (probably another tooth coming in), and he wanted me to pick him up out of the crib and rock him, so he was saying "Rocking chair, sure?!" One does not usually use the word "sure" when one is crying one's eyes out, so I didn't get it at first. Anyway, I picked him up and rocked him for a while. Am I a sucker? Sure I am.

Reports from the Field

2011-04-22T12:41:00.043-04:00

Every day Benjamin comes home from daycare with a written report from his teachers. They are mostly designed to show us the wonderful and multifaceted educational experience he experiences during the day. Much of the report is xeroxed and applies to all students in the class (e.g. activities like "Today we attempted to pull up our pants after diapering"), but there are also personal notes about his eating, sleeping, and pooping, which is good because we really just want to know if he ate his lunch, took a nap, and if he injured himself in some way.

His current teacher in the First Steps room is Ms. Naya, and she has the frustrating habit of writing "Ben had a good day today" on the reports. Every day. We know damn well he's not really having a good day every day. There's no way a large group of toddlers is not constantly on the edge of barbaric, Lord-of-the-Flies-like chaos. Sometimes Ms. Naya will actually tell us things when we pick him up, like, he didn't nap, or he was bitten three times by one of the other kids. Still, the report says ""Ben had a good day today." It's daycare propaganda, pure and simple.

Think of This as an Online Refrigerator

2011-04-22T12:35:00.158-04:00

Some of Benjamin's artistic accomplishments from the past few months.

11-10-2010

"Breaking the Surface" describes the seething inner turmoil one feels during teething. Note how he attacked the canvas with his crayon and the prodigious use of warm colors.

12-03-2010

"Former Food" describes the journey of personal sustenance, from a temporary existence in the form of ordered shapes (e.g. toroidal cheerios) that obey certain structural rules, into, via a complex organic inner metamorphosis, the smelly crap that gets dumped in your diaper.

1-11-2011

"A Winter Maelstrom" describes the unique experience of walking in a snowstorm while bundled up under 19 layers of onesies, sweaters, coats, two scarves, a hat and hood. Even when you are outside, you are still inside, really.

1-24-2011

"Random Colored Lines" shows what an overly enthusiastic toddler does when you give him some paper and a couple of crayons.

[By the way, if the retard geek that wrote this software for Blogger would give me a call, I'd be very happy to hurl obscenities at you for as long as you are willing to listen. Your software sucks. I hate you.]

It's Potty Time

2011-04-21T14:29:00.094-04:00

There's big news all over out there. The Japanese continue to confront the threat of nuclear meltdowns and aftershocks. Revolution is spreading across the Middle East. This is important big-people-type news. But the biggest news of all is that BENJAMIN WENT PEE PEE IN HIS POTTY !!!!!!!

He's done it three times. I'd like to report that he is learning how to go to the bathroom like the rest of us, but he really has no idea what's going on. We plunk him down, sans diaper, before he takes a bath at night. He sits there, pantsless. We sing songs. Sooner or later, something is deposited in the bowl. We then praise him, to a level that is more appropriate for someone who has just won the nobel prize or saved a bunch of nuns from a burning building. We also give him M&Ms. We saw this pottly-training method "on John and Kate Plus 8." If they can train 8 kids with M&Ms, we can damn sure train one kid.

But he doesn't get it yet. After he peed in his little toilet last night, he took his bath and then before we could get him dressed, he wandered into the guest room and peed on the floor.

Kempa and Gemma also visited from Florida!

The highlight of the visit was the crazy gymnastics on the yoga balls.

We're not sure if he wore them out, or they wore him out.

Thinking Inside the Box

2011-04-15T12:04:00.038-04:00

As long-time cat owners (our practice children), we are very familiar with the compulsion of cats to get into boxes. Sophie, in particular, would spend much of her life in a box, the smaller the better. We left this box lying around for the cats to crash in.

We suspect that Benjamin sometimes might think that he is just another member of our cat herd. The most important evidence for this is his occasional attempts to drink out of the cats' water dish. So he figured that if the cats like boxes, maybe he'd like it too.

We're not sure which side of the family this behavior comes from.

Artsy Fartsy. And Creepy.

2011-04-14T23:49:00.001-04:00

Title: "My Butterfly"
Artist: Benjamin
Date 4-14-2011

He did this at daycare. I wonder how long it took them to clean the blue and purple paint off of Benjamin, the floor, and, the walls. And possibly the ceiling.

Flower Power

2011-04-12T20:36:00.002-04:00

The dandelions are bloomin'.

Many of our azaleas are transpalnted from Kimpa and Gimma's house in Great Falls. We will have to re-transplant a few to Charleston. I'm actually taking photos of the azaleas to post on real estate websites. "Come buy this house and you get this beautiful bonus garden absolutely free!"

Giant Mall Rodent

2011-04-10T15:14:00.001-04:00

Benjamin met the Easter Bunny at the Mall today. Intimidated at first, he soon warmed up to the giant rodent and gave it a high-five.

This photo was taken with my cellphone camera, which has only 8 pixels. The bunny, Benjamin, and Claire are the brown, blue, and green blurs, respectively.

Man Overboard

2011-04-09T20:26:00.001-04:00

We've been concerned about this upcoming milestone for months: someday, he's going to be tall enough to climb out of his crib. That day suddenly came last weekend; we had just put him in the crib for his nap, and I was sitting there chatting him up for a bit before he went to sleep. It was unusually warm that day so he didn't have the 'sleep sack' on that he normally wears. This garment also apparently has the added benefit of acting like a straight jacket, confining his movements and preventing him from climbing out. While I watched, he got a leg up on the top of the rail and in position to hurl himself over into the abyss below. I let him continue, just to see what he was capable of, and I called Claire to come and watch. She arrived just in time to see him roll over the top and into my waiting arms. He can get loose. We put the sleep sack back on him for the nap.

He's come a long way since the days when he first learned to sit up in bed back in February of last year.

His ability to escape is a huge deal, because we actually like putting him to bed at night and resting assured that he'll stay there safe and sound, and that we'll find him in the same spot the next morning. Now, he has access to the entire planet. I expect to find him some morning in front of the TV with the remote in his chubby little hands, trying to "watch a movie music."

Our neighbors Dick and Robin gave us a toddler bed, but we'll have to childproof a bedroom for him and figure out how to prevent him from escaping. He's learning to turn doorknobs too.

Another milestone: he's trying to dress himself!

He lacks coordination, but he's putting in the effort.

We'd be a lot more proud if he wasn't putting his pants on his head and his shirt on his legs.

Perpetual Motion Kid

2011-04-03T00:46:00.003-04:00

He is in non-stop motion. Something is always moving; arms, legs, head, everything. He rolls around on the floor. He runs. He flails, and then spins around until he gets dizzy. He picks things up. He puts them down. He climbs on chairs, and then he climbs off without ever actually pausing to just sit in the chair. There is much to be done. And dammit, he's going to do it all, right now.

It's actually quite difficult to photograph him sometimes because by the time you have him in the frame, he's gone. He's in the next room.

(When you view this photo, make a bullet-shooting-off sound, like "p-chow!" Or the roadrunner cartoon "meep-meep!" and then "p-chow!")

He is a blur of high-speed toddler. Except when we go to pick him up in order to get him to go somewhere that he doesn't want to go (inside, from outside), or to do something that he doesn't want to do (put on his shoes or his jammies). Then he goes completely limp in your arms and tries to ooze out of your grasp. Have you ever tried to put a coat on a 30 lb bag of jello? That's what it's like. At these times, we say that he has "gone boneless."

Look at this sweet child. The photo below was taken in Charleston last week, while Claire was talking to the Chair of our new geology department. It looks like he's saying something, doesn't it? Do you know what this sweet precious boy is saying in this photo? "In a little while, when Mommy is talking to the Dean, I'm going to flail around and wedge myself between two chairs and then scream bloody murder while Daddy tries to extract me and then sheepishly drag me out into the hallway."

Old Toys, Reborn

2011-03-19T22:29:00.003-04:00

Aunt Larissa and I had a Fisher Price airport and house when we were kids. They have survived nearly four decades of storage and are now ready to be abused by another generation.

The question that has haunted me all these years is: Why in god's name do these people have no arms or legs? And why do all of the male characters wear cowboy hats? Was there a horrible nuclear accident in Texas that I didn't hear about, producing tiny mutant limbless cowboys? Oh, there's one guy that wears a saucepan instead of a cowboy hat. That didn't make sense when I was a kid, and it doesn't make sense now.

That Warm Feeling

2011-03-13T14:45:00.002-04:00

Warmth is returning to the Carolinas. The mini-irises bloomed first, back in February. A brave daffodil also poked its yellow head above the ground, but Benjamin prematurely harvested it. I tried to explain that flowers are for looking at and not for eating and/or grinding up in your fist and throwing on the ground. We'll work on that.

We took advantage of a warm weekend in early March and dusted off the bikes and pedalled on the Greenway near campus. Benjamin was still talking about it several days later.

Stuff is bloomin' all over the place.

Another sure sign that spring is here is the arrival of Claire's birthday. Kempa came down and babysat while we went to Cirque du Soleil. If you've never been to a Cirque du Soleil, imagine that one of the Ringling Brothers has been replaced by a gay Dr. Seuss.

Kempa got to read Benjamin his pre-bedtime stories and put him to bed so we could arrive on time for the show. Thanks Kempa!

Claire got a yummy ice cream cake from Cold Stone.

And of course a sushi dinner at Nakato.

Claire got Benjamin a little sandbox to dig in. The dump truck may be an inappropriate scale for this work area.

We went to NoDa today to enjoy a warm day. Benjamin checked out the big mural.

Can you spot the real kid in this picture?

Tiny Bites

2011-03-09T17:34:00.001-05:00

He has no concept of: 1) take a bite, 2) chew it up and swallow it, and 3) take another bite. If you put an entire bucket of chicken down in front of him, I swear he'd just try to jam the whole lot of it in his mouth all at once. He's like a gerbal, stuffing his cheeks full of chow.

Plus, it's gross.

Letters and Numbers

2011-02-22T21:47:00.006-05:00

Howdy pardners! I'm fixin' to go to bed! That means it's time to find a stall tactic. Lately, I've been wearing my cowboy boots and running up and down the hallway. Yippy-ki-yay!

Of all the embarrassing photos that I'll be pulling out to show his girlfriends in 20 years, these two may be very near the top of the stack:

His vocabulary continues to expand every day. There are too many words to try to make a list. He pronounces many correctly, but some are at least slightly askew. Here are some of the more notable mispronunciations:

"googles" --> noodles

"ogez" --> oranges

"stawbabies" --> strawberries

"m nem" --> M&Ms

"heptopter" --> helicopter

"umbugga" --> umbrella

"bdue" --> blue

"ba bette" --> belly button

"waf waf" --> washcloth

"pitano" --> piano

"wuwiwa" --> gorilla

"wuband" --> rubber band

"rhinoceros" --> "ahris"

[the Blogger spellchecker just went ape shit]

And of course "Gimma and Kempa" are Grandma and Grandpa. Almost any 3-syllable word is comically scrambled.

He has some amusing sayings as well. Occasionally he'll say "thank you" and "you're welcome" at the same time, except it comes out "Tank you, Rocco". For a while we thought that he thought my name was Rocco.

"Ladies" are any group of persons (including ladies, men, children) that are seen at a distance.

When he first sees something, it's "right there." For example, "Daddy's truck right there!" or "Ladies umbugga right there!"

When we are outside, he jubilantly announces "Run!" just prior to "running" (i.e. slowly and clumsily toddling in a serpentine fashion across the yard, limbs akimbo, followed by stumbling and falling down).

Several times a day he wants to "Watch a movie," and he particularly want to "watch a movie: shapes," "watch a movie: music," and "watch a movie: Nemo."

He's also making progress with his numbers. He can identify 1-9 easily, and he's been working on 11-19. He identifies 14-19 pretty well, but he insists that "12" is two-teen and "13" is three teen. And really, when you think about it it's hard to argue with the logic. That would make a lot more sense, wouldn't it?

Why is Daddy Eating All Of My Candy?

2011-02-14T22:55:00.004-05:00

It's Valentine's Day! All of the kids exchanged valentines (i.e. all of the parents exchanged valentines with their kids' names on them). The names below have been changed to protect the innocent (and me from libel lawsuits).

Here's one from "Kelly" ('s Mom). Roh Roh! Is Scooby Doo even on TV anymore? Somebody needs to tell these people that the 70's are over.

Here's another Scooby Doo valentine (apparently the rights to Scooby's name and image can be got for cheap these days) from Benjamin's teacher Ms. Naya. She apparently may have told every student that they are her "best friend." This is setting the kids up for some hard feelings down the road.

This next one is from "Noah". Yeah, go have a wild Valentine's day! Set Daddy's truck tires on fire and drive off down the road! That's a great message for a toddler. Why not just grab Daddy's shotgun and head to the liquor store for a quick robbery while you're at it?

This next one is from "Kristina." Believe in your dreams, Benjamin! Unless your dreams are to dress like a fairy princess when you grow up. ("Kristina", by the way, is one of the biters in Benjamin's class. How about if Benjamin's dream is to not come home with bite marks on his leg? There's a dream to believe in!)

This next one is from "Loralyn." Peace out, hippy. "Loralyn" is Benjamin's arch-nemesis, so the whole "Love and Peace" theme of this valentine is just a charade to try to get him to let his guard down. She's not a biter, but she is a vacant-eyed snot fountain that constantly pushes the other kids and steals their toys and is a perpetual distraction for the teachers. She opens the refrigerator. She almost pulled the fire alarm one day. I'm no pediatrician, but this kid definitely aint right. "Loralyn" is a short decade away from doing serious time in juvenile detention.

This next one is from "Gabriel." At least the loveable character on this valentine is from the current decade. Too bad the greeting makes absolutely no damn sense.

This last one is from "Peyton." You're awesome valentine! And what's more awesome than a pig in a life-jacket slowly sliding across an ice-covered lake on a surfboard?

"Peyton" is Benjamin's girlfriend. They have been buddies since they were in the Infant Room, and they still hang out together a lot. "Peyton" is always glad to see Benjamin and gives him hugs. If we lived in India they'd already be married.

The daycare had a Valentine's Day party today. I got to come and see the children experience their first really big sugar high. Somebody brought small cupcakes with pink frosting. That frosting was everywhere.

Unfortunately, I forgot my camera, and my cell phone camera is horrible. I think it has like 20 pixels. Anyway, here is the only documentation of the event. One of the pinkish blobs covered in icing is Benjamin.

The sugar was already rushing to his tiny brain at this point. He looks like a junkie getting his metamphetamine fix. At some point, he may have taken a bite out of the spoon.

Yes the Birds Are Interesting, but Look at this Stick!

2011-02-04T11:15:00.002-05:00

Claire's friend Lindsay came to visit last weekend. She likes birds, so we took her to the Carolina Raptor Center. They have a large collection of owls and eagles and hawks and other big birds from all over the world on display. They had all been injured by various human activities and couldn't be returned to the wild. So I didn't get that sick guilty feeling that I normally get at zoos (i.e. "Thanks for giving up your freedom in the wilderness so I can stare at you and make noises that vaguely resemble your vocalizations.").

Benjamin had trouble seeing the birds that were in chain link cages, and focused as always on the artifacts in his immediate vicinity, like gravel, sticks, and cigarette butts. There were some nice "hands on" items (like the plastic eagle egg, below) and they had a table set up with a morbid assortment of amputated bird wings for kids to touch.

The sanctuary staff were giving a talk about vultures as we walked past the vulture cage. They said that vultures were smarter than a 2 or 3 year old child. A few minutes earlier, Benjamin had accidentally somersaulted over a wood fence rail, tiny feet flailing in the air. He was ok, but we had to agree about the comparative intelligence of the vultures.

Big Shoes

2011-01-26T11:13:00.000-05:00

"Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes." --Stephen Wright

Christmas Part II with Kempa Chadwick

2011-01-23T17:40:00.002-05:00

Kempa (Grandpa) Chadwick drove down from Blacksburg last weekend to bring some January Christmas ("Chichiss") cheer (Gimma Chadwick was ill). Luckily we like to leave our Chichiss tree up late into January as a buffer against the chilly winter blues and prolong the fun. Most of the needles are still on it. Over half.

Benjamin got to work on his wrapping paper shredding skills again...

...And Kempa got to work on his coloring skills.

On a side note, if anybody from 'Blogger' (the overlords of this blog posting service) are reading this: Hey! Your new software blows. Really, I mean, you fixed something that wasn't broken. And now it is.

Snow Day Snow Day Snow Day !

2011-01-15T20:20:00.002-05:00

We had reluctantly slunked back to Charlotte in time for the start of the new semester. But the new semester didn't start. We got 5 inches of snow on Monday and a layer of ice on top of that Monday night. We got a snow day on Monday! Then we got another one on Tuesday! Then, they were going to open up at 10:00 am on Wednesday morning, but NO, the roads were still icy and they cancelled classes again and we got ANOTHER SNOW DAY.

Benjamin enjoyed the snow. We went for a walk in the woods while it was still coming down. He didn't make these snowballs himself, and he didn't want to throw them himself. He did like to hold them though.

There is a big hill at the end of our road. So on the one hand, being from Idaho and all, we made fun of the sorry ass Charlotteans and their inability to drive in a little winter weather. Such weanies. Booo hooo. On the other hand, we were actually truly hopelessly trapped in our neighborhood. On the third Snow Day we ran out of food and we had to eat the cats.

A Year in Full

2011-01-12T22:55:00.005-05:00

On the day after Christmas, we headed south from Georgia to Florida, seeking warmth in the lower latitudes. We didn't find any. We found more cold. Crossing the border near Tallahassee, we drove through snow flurries. In Florida. I know! You drive that far south, you expect some love from the thermometer.

But it didn't stay cold for long. Old Man Winter is weak in the Pirate Latitudes. By the time New Year's Eve arrived, we were wearing shorts, and a few days later we contemplated cranking on the air conditioning. Ahhh.

We had a swanky dinner at a swanky restaurant in Naples. As always, Benjamin classed up the place.

We took a stroll out on the boardwalk behind the Naples Grand Hotel, through the mangroves and out to the beach.

There was a forest fire somewhere, and smokey clouds in front of the sun that cast everything in a soft and warm red glow before sunset.

Benjamin was still hooked on throwing sticks in the water following our stay at the lake in Georgia. He had to settle for throwing shells instead. I use the term "throwing" loosely; I would hold him over the edge of the water and he would drop them in.

New Year's Eve! Gimma and Kimpa babysat for us, and gave us movie passes to the Silver Spot Theater that has big plush n' comfy first-class seats. We got a glass of wine and watched True Grit. Then we went and had outdoor bar food and exotic booze drinks and watched a bowl game for a while. Finally, we went out to the beach behind the Ritz Carlton and walked along the dark beach until midnight. Folks had bonfires on the beach and were setting off fireworks and having a good time.

Claire wore the dress I got her in Ireland. 90 Euros, but worth every penny.

On the first day of the new year, we drove up to Ft. Myers Beach, about a half an hour north of Naples. We found an open-air beach bar to watch the Gators beat Penn State in the Outback Bowl. We strolled the beach and threw more shells in the water. No less than 6 different people commented on Benjamin's hat. I guess it's a little bit big for his toddler noggin.

Later we drove to Lover's Key and walked out to the point to watch another tropical sunset.

"Bye bye sun."

Next we visited the Naples Zoo (formerly Jungle Larry's). Benjamin spotted lots of animals from his books. Like turtles and fish...

A lot of the animals seemed to be sleeping. With their backs turned to us. In the far corners of their cages. We saw lots of brownish hairy lumps, and entertained oursleves by trying to identify their species. Here is the backside of a leopard that was kind enough to sleep with his back to us in a spot that was close to the fence.

One of the highlights was the male lion, who had something very important to say and started growling when we were walking near his cage. It was a very impressive and hair-raising sound.

We found a playground and slid. Check out that grin. And check out the athletic skills; sliding while holding a sippy cup. That aint easy.

We took a boat ride around the primate exhibits. Claire spent much of the cruise keeping Benjamin from leaping into the lake.

The zoo has some nice exotic plants too, many of them from Madagascar. Lots of gangly spiky things that looked like they were from another planet.

Reluctantly, we drove back to North Carolina; back to the chilly air and our jobs and daycare and responsibility and shit like that.

Ice Cream Happy Dance

2011-01-11T01:11:00.005-05:00

New Year's Day at Ft. Myers Beach. Warm, tropical breezes. Sunshine and palm trees. And ice cream. All culminating in one of Benjamin's trademark Happy Dances.

Notice that he turns from eating my ice cream and quickly dances over to Mommy to gobble up some of hers as well. He soon returned to eat more of mine. He ate half of my cone, at least.

Happy dance became running amok, frozen momentarily in a surfer dude hang ten pose. Happy New Year!

Christmas Cabin

2010-12-29T13:56:00.003-05:00

Christmas! We drove down to southwest Georgia, within spittin' distance (this is how distances are measured in this part of the country; time is measured in years elapsed since the Civil War) of Alabama and the Florida panhandle. Grandpa and Grandma (gimma and gimpa) rented side-by-side cabins (one for us, one for them and Aunt Georgina and Uncle Mike) in Seminole State Park on a nice lake in the woods. Population: us. Nice!

The good news: we escaped the extremely frigid air and snow in the mid-Atlantic; a blizzard descended on North Carolina and all points north of it and we got out of town just in time. The bad news: while not extremely frigid in south Georgia, it was still plain old regular frigid.

The highlight of our Christmas cabin was that it backed right up to a nice lake full of ducks. And, you know, water.

Benjamin has learned several holiday-related words and phrases in the past couple of weeks, including Chichis yites (Christmas lights), Chichis tree (Christmas tree), and Santa (Santa).

Christmas morning we had orange rolls, turkey bacon, chocolate croissants, and scrambled eggs.

Everyone was bubbly with excitement.

Presents! Unlike last year, when he just drooled on the wrapped gifts and then played with the wrapping paper, this year he got with the program and tore into his presents. And then he drooled on them.

He got a baby laptop (a.k.a. a "ta da" for the noise they make when they start up). It teaches letters and animals and plays music, and you can even send him an e-mail. Maybe now he'll stop trying to push the buttons on Daddy's tada?

He also got an Elmo doll. It's his favorite Sesame Street character. It's not a Tickle Me Elmo, which apparently makes horrifying noises. This is Happy n' Mute Elmo.

The highlight of the trip: searching for sticks and getting Daddy to fling them into the lake. He woke up in the morning and the first thing out of his mouth was "Sticks-water!"

Check out my festive Chichas sweater! Merry Chichas, y'all!

Pittsburgh and San Francisco

2010-12-27T13:46:00.005-05:00

I made my quasi-semi-annual migration to the American Geophysical Union conference in San Francisco two weeks ago. Aunt Megan and Uncle Brian gave Claire and Benjamin some frequent flier miles so they could travel to Pittsburgh to visit while I was gone. Benjamin got to hang with his cousin Marcus. They had a rockin' jam session on the piano.

It was a "p-jam" jam session (Get it? P-jam? As in p-jammies? Never mind.)

They made a trip to the museum to see some dinosaur bones. Now Benjamin refers to all pictures of dinosaurs, including those with flesh, as "disaur bones."

A little bit of Pittsburgh wintertime.

He recently discovered that you can see your breath when it's cold! A couple of weeks ago, he stopped talking in mid-babble when he first noticed this phenomenon.

Meanwhile, I was hanging out with 18,000 (really) geoscientists in San Francisco at AGU. Presenting my student's and my research projects and finding out what other folks are up to. There are waaayy to many people at AGU, but it's a great way to meet future collaborators and see what other folks are doing, research-wise. I met old friends, colleagues, teachers, and the occasional evil arch-enemy ("So, we meet again Chadwick. This time you will not escape my wrath with your trickery! Doom upon you! Doom upo-- cough cough cough.").

After the conference, San Francisco is a great place to wander around. This is Union Square, all decked out for the holidays.

I also found a great crepe shop in my wanderings. Strawberries, kiwi, and banana with ice cream and strawberry sauce.

Wandering around the city is fine, but you don't want to wander too far away from the touristy areas...

Santa 2.0

2010-12-22T18:58:00.002-05:00

Santa came to Benjamin's daycare center again this year. It's the same Santa, but is it the same kid?

Solstice-Related Holiday Preparations

2010-12-21T21:34:00.007-05:00

Christmastime is upon us once again. As academic folk we always have very busy Decembers (final exams, grading, AGU conference, etc.) and Christmas always sneaks up on us. By the time we pull our heads out of our backsides and look around, it's already late December.

We've had our first fire in the fireplace. It's not Benjmain's first fire ever, but it's the first this year and the first that he can point to and say "fire." And since he was immobile last winter, it's also his first opportunity to immolate himself in a fiery conflagration if we don't keep an eye on him.

We've had a few opportunities to hit the mall and join the frenzy. I grew up near the Tysons Corner mall in northern Virginia, and I always enjoyed going to the mall at Christmastime, as odd as that may sound. I was a "local" and so I had a secret parking area that allowed me quick access to the mall, so parking wasn't a problem (and I usually didn't have to deal with those scary people that stalk you in their car as you walk back to your parking spot). Glittery decorations and holiday hustle and bustle is cheery fun for me in small doses.

We've survived our first horrible pestilence of the holiday season. A couple of weeks ago we were all on Amoxicillan all at once. Claire and I had three strep tests between the two of us, all negative. Nevertheless, we were treated for strep. The doses were calibrated for our various body masses, but the bottle sizes were not.

We picked up a nice tree. I have this dream that someday we will get a permit from the National Forest so we can have a memorable family walk through the snowy woods to find the perfect wild tree. But this year we got it from the Home Depot parking lot. It is notable for the fact that the tree farmer didn't trim all of the branches in order to shape it into a perfect conical shape. I like a little natural-looking fuzziness in my Christmas trees. Also in my cats.

We lugged out the ornaments. Benjamin was more interested in their value as toys than their intended decorative application. We kept the spiky and breakable ones and the ones with sentimental value away from him as best we could. But he's sneaky and fast.

He helped a bit with the decorating. This primarily involved struggling to put ornaments on the tree, taking them off again, and then struggling to put them back on the tree again.

Merry Christmas!

You Can Put Your Arms Down at School

2010-12-08T22:56:00.004-05:00

The winter solstice is approaching. The cold weather is here. Time to overbundle the kid!

"My kid brother looked like a tick that was about to pop."

Ralphie as Adult: [narrating] Meanwhile, I struggled for exactly the right BB gun hint. It had to be firm, but subtle.

Ralphie: Flick says he saw some grizzly bears near Pulaski's candy store!

[everyone stares at Ralphie]

Ralphie as Adult: [narrating] They looked at me as if I had lobsters crawling out of my ears.

Turkey 'n Spuds

2010-12-07T23:28:00.000-05:00

The Tuesday before Thanksgiving, Benjamin's daycare served up some culinary fun that might have been called "Parents: Come Feed Your Own Damn Kid Some Lunch for a Change", but instead it was called the "Thanksgiving Potluck," or something like that.
We served up a heapin' helpin' of delicious Thanksgiving favorites. Benjamin responded with this face:

Kids, Mommies, and, me.

The kid sitting next to him kept grabbing at his food. You wouldn't think it would be that easy to steal food from a renegade Indian, but Benjamin was all too happy to share. He was only really interested in the pie.

The Real Turkey Deal on Thursday. We hoofed on up to Blacksburg, over the river and through the woods to Grandmother's (and Grandfather's) house we went.

Here's Grandpa and his oven mitts and the Bird.

The oven mitts were one of the many new attractions for Benjamin.

Grandma and Grandpa also bought him some swell new toys and a new bed.

Aunt Larissa and Uncle Eric got in on the the cooking, and Bob and Dee Leggett drove down from Great Falls to join the festivities.

A holiday devoted to giving thanks for all we have (wonderful family and friends) and all we don't have (gonorrhea). Ultimately it's about the joys of feasting and gluttony, and giving thanks for elastic waistbands.

Happy Thanksgiving!

The Thing About Those Pretty Fall Leaves Is, They Fall.

2010-11-22T22:41:00.001-05:00

We may not have New Hampshire's maples or Colorado's aspens, but we do have a few colorful trees in Charlotte in November. Mostly we have oaks, which turn from a dull green in summer to a vibrant dull brown in autumn. But we also have some maples that are nice. They is real purty.

Then they all start to come down. And they don't stop falling until all 89 trillion of them are on the ground.

That's when the crack team of leaf removers steps in.

Benjamin very much wants to pitch in and help, but the rakes are Daddy-sized and he is Spud-sized. Plus, he doesn't quite get the concept. He may actually remove more leaves from the pile than he adds.

The reward for his exertions is a fun ride in the leaf tarp.

Ok, So Maybe he Won't Grow up to be a Doctor

2010-11-14T22:14:00.002-05:00

Benjamin's maternal grandparents gave him some Mr. Potato Head toys; I think they're called "Spud Buds", which would be appropriate. He's good at the dismembering part, not so good at the reassembling part.

Getting the various limbs and body parts into their correct locations is tough. But look at the concentration. Look at the focus.

Meet Mr. Horribly Disfigured Potato Head.

"How can I describe my emotions at this catastrophe, or how delineate the wretch whom with such infinite pains and care I had endeavored to perform?"

-Reaction of Victor Frankenstein after bringing his creation to life;
Frankenstein, by Mary Shelley

I Hear You Have a Small Dragon Problem, Ma'am

2010-10-31T18:51:00.003-04:00

We've had some nice weather lately, but we're cooling off round these parts. Here we are strolling in the funky Plaza Midwood neighborhood under some colorful trees.

Last week we went pumpkin ("bompy") shopping at the farm on Rocky River Rd. They also had various farm animals on display, which Benjamin had only previously seen in books. He baaaa-ed at the goat, whinnied at the horse, clucked at the chickens, and snorted at the pigs. He speaks all farm animal languages.

We gutted the helpless bompy. Benjamin learned a new word: "slimey".

The campus had a trick-or-treat activity in the fraternity/sororoty houses a few days before Halloween. Benjamin had a chance to try out his dragon costume and practice his trick-or-treating and learn how to beg for food.

Daycare had a "Halloween Parade" that apparently involved dozens of costumed children running amok around the halls of the school. He wore his cool skeleton sweats (thanks Aunt Megan and Uncle Brian) instead of the dragon costume.

Then: the big event! Claire dressed up as a maiden in dire distress, marauded by a dangerous, snarling, carnivorous dragon. Albeit a diminutive one.

I bravely wielded my sword, prepared to dispatch the fire-breathing fiend. In the end I spared the beast because he needed a diaper change and a bath.

Todays lesson: you can knock on neighbor's doors and they give you free candy! Why don't we do this every day?? And why is Daddy eating all of my candy??

Later that evening.......

Spud 1.5

2010-10-30T14:12:00.004-04:00

Benjamin rolled up his 18th month last week. This seems like the stage where you stop reporting a child's age in months and start using "a year and a half", and later, "almost two". We went to the doctor for his last scheduled, age-related checkup until her turns two. He got (another) shot (flu..both swine and seasonal flavors all in one shot) and also had (another) illness from daycare and (another) ear infection. He's better now.

The stats: weight 25 lbs. 15 oz (50-75%); height 32.5" (50-75%)

I filled out an autism questionnaire at the doctor's office while we were waiting for Dr. Brian Adams to appear (he was probably off somewhere singing "Cuts Like a Knife" or "Summer of '69" while we languished in the waiting room). Most kids that have autism are showing signs by 18 months. There were about 25 questions and there was only one that I had to answer "wrong". He doesn't seem to "pretend" much yet (e.g. he doesn't pretend to have a conversation on the toy phone or pretend he's actually driving a car when he rolls his toy car around). He mimics all of those activities, but he doesn't seem to be pretending. Anyway, he doesn't have autism.

The doctor said he should know "about 12-15" words at this point. I just chuckled. Our little dude is Vocabulicious. Here's an attempt to list his current vocabulary:

all gone
apple
balloon "monon"
banana "nana"
Baxter "Datter"
book
box
broccoli "bocky"
butterfly
cookie
Daddy
dirty
door
ear
elbow
eye
flower
go
hair
heater
hot tea "ot tea"
help "up"
juice "duice"
knee
light
Mommy
moon
more
movie
nose
outside "owside"
paper
please "pease"
poopy
pumpkin "pompy"
read
rice "wice"
shirt
shoe
shovel
slide
sock
Sophie "Sushie"
stars
stick
sticker "sicka"
sun
tree
umbrella "ubbaga"
waffle
wall
walk
watch
water
window
wire

And in just the past couple of weeks, he's started putting words together in little mini-sentences. He's said two words for a while (like "hot tea" and "all gone"), but those he treats like single words. These, however, are individual ideas strung together to make more complicated ones.

"eww dirty"
"messy mommy"
"peeboo I see you!"
"watch movie"
"bye Mommy's shoes"
"Datter eat water"
"twickle twickle star"

The one word he most notably has not said yet? Benjamin (or even Ben). He refers to himself as "Baby" in pictures (but all other babies are also "Baby"), or just looks confused when you point at his and say "who's that". Identifying oneself as just another discrete piece of the universe is apparently hard to do.

Thunderhead

2010-10-21T21:32:00.006-04:00

School picture day! What a cute cute little boy! Hey, what's that on his head?

Poor little bugger thunked his head in the week before picture day. Twice. Thunk. Thunk. Ouch. Ouch. Learning to walk is fraught with danger.

He looks like he's saying: "Look at me. They clearly dropped me on my head. Twice. Call child protective services. And get that damn camera out of my face, weirdo."

Growing up is hard. And so are walls. And gravity sucks.

No Thyself

2010-10-10T21:23:00.014-04:00

It remains to be seen if we will experience the phenomenon known as the "Terrible Twos". We are at nearly the 18-month mark now, and, if anything, Benjamin is getting more easy-going. He's shed most of his (normal) infant-stage crankiness and he's now mostly just a happy kid with a burgeoning imagination and cheerful personality.

He knows at least 30 50 words now; we are compiling an up-to-date list (along with his pronunciations of them), and I'll post them when we think we have them all. One of the words he is making increasing use of is "no", and it seems that this word may come in handy for a Terrible Two phase, if one were to go through such as phase.

He uses "no" in two different situations. First, to deny the entry of undesirable food products into his mouth (picture a clenched jaw, then a turned head, then, when the spoon is at a safe distance, "no". He probably learned this skill at daycare. There are clearly some future occupants of juvenile detention centers in his class.

He also uses "no" in a more unusual situation. There are often certain items around the house that he can reach (my laptop, piles of work-related papers, breakable chachkies, etc.). When these items are in sight, he's on them like white on rice.

We politely take them away from him, waggle a finger, and say "no no no Benjamin". The punitive effects of this seem to be lost on him, however. Now, when he picks up the remote control or throws Daddy's journal articles on the floor, he dutifully says "no no no" while he's doing it. He is self-disciplining. Actually, "no" doesn't mean "no, don't do that", it's just what you say while you are undertaking certain activities with your parent's belongings. He seems to just be innocently mimicking us (like he does in just about every situation). Either that, or he's becoming an evil genius.

DIS-covery

2010-09-29T19:37:00.022-04:00

Spud: "Dis?"
Me: "That's a rock, Benjamin."
Spud: "Dis?"
Me: "A rock."
[Pause]
Spud: "Dis?"
Me: "Rock."
[Pause]
Spud: "Dis?"

In the parlance of our times, when you get dissed, you get disrespected. Benjamin is always dissing us, but he means no disrespect. "Dis?" ("This?") is his tool for learning the names of the things he encounters. He is constantly pointing at things and dissing. Body parts, things he sees outside the car window, tiny particles of fuzz, things on the TV. "Dis?" "Dis?" "Dis?" He must say "dis", no shit, about 100 times a day. He now has a very extensive vocabulary, all because of his constant dissing. The fact that he pronounces nearly everything wrong once he learns it is not really important. We (usually) understand what he's saying.

We didn't ever really encourage this quest to know nomenclature; it is entirely his own desire to know what's up. We always answer when he asks what something is, so he always gets results. We can tell that he's really proud when he knows the names of things and that he can participate in the conversation a bit. He smiles and points and says, proudly: "Rock!" (Rock) or "Umbugga" (Umbrella) or "Huffwhy!" (Butterfly).

A Walk in the Park

2010-09-26T13:25:00.016-04:00

Last weekend I took a short break from toiling on my NASA proposal and accompanied Claire and Benjamin to Reedy Creek Park near our house.

He swung on swings, slid on slides, and descended through the blue plastic tube. I wonder if this reminded him of his big descent into the world 17 months ago? Sort of the same thing, except Claire wasn't yelling and grimacing this time.

The part of “Blogger” will be played by Claire today

2010-09-08T22:38:00.022-04:00

Since John is busy with his MDAP proposal, I thought I would do a “guest blog” to keep everyone up to date on the exciting Spud developments that happened in August. It was a busy month, with John off to Ireland and then to Idaho for some field work. Benjamin and I kept busy in his absence with a variety of activities: We read

We sampled some seasonal fruits

We tried on clothes

We tried out some new toys

Meanwhile, here are some of the sights that John was taking in:

Yeah… Anyway, while John was away, Grandma and Grandpa Grimm game to visit. We had a lot of fun mostly just hanging out together.

Daddy brought some cool presents back from Ireland:

After his travels, John celebrated his birthday at the end of the month, and Grandma and Grandpa Chadwick came down for the festivities.

John requested a red velvet cake for his birthday, so after one failed attempt at making a “healthy” red velvet cake (hint: beets were involved, and it was NOT red), I resorted to a box mix, which had more red dye in it than Cyndi Lauper’s hair (in the 80’s). The results:

Then it was back to work as another semester began. Benjamin is off to a good start – he’s picking up one or two new words every day. John and I thought about updating our list of words he knows, but we can’t keep up. He’s probably got at least a 25 to 30 word vocabulary by now, which is better than some of the undergraduates in John’s classes. His favorite new word is butterfly.

Some parting cuteness, just ‘cause:

And now back to our regularly scheduled Blogger!

Mom Song

2010-09-04T00:11:00.005-04:00

Claire has a couple of years to memorize this song.

Asheville

2010-08-04T18:39:00.012-04:00

Another week, and more meetings at far-flung universities. This week we travelled to Asheville (UNC Asheville) and Cullowhee (Western Carolina University).

Thursday night dinner out on the town in Asheville.

After my meetings on Friday morning and afternoon, we drove a short way up to Great Smokey Mountains National Park. It was Spud's first official National Park, so Claire got him the little passport that you can get stamped at each park that you visit. He'll appreciate it later. For now, he just chewed on it.

Waterfalls:

And beautiful mountain scenery:

Add some dorky tourists:

Nice rivers:

And rocks, of course:

We drove and hiked up to Clingman's Dome, the highest point in the park.

We had a blast!

Learns "Mommy", Forgets "Daddy"

2010-08-03T23:01:00.006-04:00

For months he's called both of his parents "Daddy". At long last, he has added "Mommy" to his repertoire. Now if he could just remember how to say "Daddy."

15-month stats:

Height: 31 1/2 inches (50-75%)
Weight: 25 lb. 6 oz (50-75%)

Vaccination: chicken pox

Surf, Sun, Sand, Seafood, and Spud

2010-07-27T21:48:00.015-04:00

Off to the beach!

I had a meeting at UNC Wilmington on Friday, so we packed up the kid and headed east. Travelling with a small child requires some 500 lbs. of food, toys, clothes, bedding, diapers, stroller, toys, food, and toys, so packing for a trip takes us a bit longer than in previous years. We throw food at the cats and head out the door and hope Spud takes a nap while we drive. Otherwise he gets bored and screechy.

On Thursday night we had a sunset seafood dinner (me: delectable shrimp, Claire: scallops) at Oceanic restaurant in Wrightsville Beach, with tables on a dock right out over the beach and the water. Nice!

After my meeting on Friday, we had lunch at Flaming Amy's Burritos in Wilmington. We did not leave Spud unattended.

Our hotel had a pool. Spud seemed happier running crazily and dangerously around the edge of the pool investigating garbage cans and detritus than actually being in the water.

We headed south to Fort Fisher, a confederate fort that was attacked by the union in 1865. Much of the sand walls of the fort have been eroded away by the ocean, but these are still standing. We tried to encourage Spud to walk along with us on his own, but every stick and bug and rock captures his attention. He doesn't make good time, and doesn't even stay on the sidewalk. He's goes rogue at every opportunity.

At Ft. Fisher beach, we continued to show Spud how much fun the ocean is. He continued to refuse to touch it.

Fort Fisher also has a nice aquarium. We needed an indoor activity, because it was ghastly hot out, and an air conditioned facility full of eye-catching fish was just the ticket. Spud pointed out all of the fish for us.

On the trip home: home-made peach ice cream!

The Spud Lexicon

2010-07-22T22:23:00.028-04:00

Spud's word power is growing. Here is an up-to-date list of all the words he uses with regularity. Plus translations. With a little studying, you too can learn to speak Toddler.

"Keeeee" = kitty; his very first word. Spoken with delight and squealy high volume upon sighting a cat. The cats usually respond by grouchily slinking away. I swear I can hear them sighing in resignation sometimes.

"Daddy" = Daddy, but also Other Daddy (Mommy); Daddy apparently means "parent".

"Uh oh" = uh oh; he's just dropped something and you need to come pick it up, or he's about to drop something that he no longer has any use for.

"Dish" = "this", means 'can I have some of this?', or, 'what is this?'

"Hello" = telephone; he wants to push the buttons on the hello. Oh, how he wants the hello more than anything. Except for:

"Cacku" = Cracker (graham); the most delicious snack. Requested several times a day.

"Tink you" = Thank you. He's so polite. Although he usually says this when he wants you to take something from him.

"Eat" = I'm hungry. Must eat now.

"Eye" = eye; usually a warning that he's about to show you where your eye is by poking you directly in it.

"Shoe" = shoe; along with eat and eye, the words that sound the most like the real thing.

"Doddle" = either bottle or bubble, depending on the usually obvious context.

"Teekle" = twinkle; a request for you to sing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star.

and finally,

"Shasha" = Viscacha, a South American rodent related to the chinchilla. Long story.

Although not really a word, he also shakes his head "no" when he doesn't want the food item you are offering.

These are the words he can say, but he understands a lot more. Say "spin-a-rama" (known to every video football player), and he will begin spinning and smiling until he falls down. Always good for a laugh. He can point out the Moon and Sun in a book if you ask him too. Although he only says the word eye (as he pokes you in it), he can also point to your ear, nose, mouth, and belly button on request. If your belly button is not exposed, he will start rummaging through your clothes for it.

"My Symphony"

2010-07-18T00:04:00.000-04:00

"To live content with small means;
to seek elegance rather than luxury,
and refinement rather than fashion;
to be worthy, not respectable,
and wealthy, not rich;
to study hard, think quietly,
talk gently, act frankly;
to listen to stars and birds, to babes and sages, with open heart;
To bear all cheerfully, do all bravely,
await occasions, hurry never.
In a word, to let the spiritual, unbidden and unconscious, grow up through the common.
This is to be my symphony."

By William Henry Channing

Baby Blog Book

2010-07-17T19:07:00.011-04:00

Spud's first year as documented on this blog is now enshrined in a magnificent book made of an old-school, pre-digital material called "paper". The book was created by Mommy using software available at Blurb.com. Someday Spud will be able to read about the icky details of his early life, including the color of his poop in the first week of life and the frequency of his barfs. I am certain that his future girlfriends will want to read the book cover to cover on their first date, so I will leave it out on the coffee table where they are sure to find it.

This wonderful tome is a [slightly belated] Father's Day gift and a great way to remember the first year of our Adventures in Parenthood. Thank you Claire!

Boone Baby

2010-07-10T23:19:00.021-04:00

We took a short trip up to the mountains on Friday to cool off a bit. Unlike Charlotte, Boone is an actual college town, with hippies and fun bars and a funky walkable area near the university (Appalachian State). But hey, Charlotte has some of the best strip malls in the entire country. Claire and her family lived in Boone for a while in the 90's so she knows her way around the town.

We had lunch at a nice restaurant, and while we waited for the food Spud honed his artistic skills with some crayolas provided by the waitress. He's...not very talented.

Then we fed him bits of our own food directly off of his work of art. Don't tell Child Protective Services about this (Hey, if we gave him a plate, he'd just throw it at somebody and break it).

Then we went for a hike on a nice trail south of town. We mounted him up in the Baby Backpack. Daddy's back will be just fine by the end of next week.

Here I am teaching him the manly art of throwing rocks at water.

Hi ladies.

The trail followed a nice stream.

We found a blackberry patch and split the ripe ones 3 ways. I am proud to say that we are teaching our offspring how to survive in the wilderness (as long as there are lots of blackberry bushes, he should be ok).

Happy summer!

Summertime Spud

2010-07-06T13:42:00.010-04:00

We went to Amelie's French Bakery for 4th of July breakfast. I happily drive the 20 minutes it takes to get to NoDa for one of their chocolate croissants. When Spud wasn't pilfering bits of my croissant, he was practicing his walking and running into things and falling down in a heap.

He enjoyed his very first summertime watermelon. There really is no better way to eat watermelon than to just dig in and get your face all up in there and just try your best to breathe.

And he enjoyed his very first 4th of July sparklers (held by me in the foreground). Unfortunately his bedtime is hours before dark settles in, so we had to light them in daylight. Not quite as impressive, but I think he got the idea.

Cousin Rob

2010-07-02T22:22:00.013-04:00

My cousin Rob was in town this week. He writes his own music and has 3 Cd's and was performing a concert at the Providence Road Christian Church. He got in touch with me on Wednesday and we met on Thursday night before his concert.

Rob and I have met only once before, exactly 30 years ago in June, 1980. We went on a road trip together with Spud's Great Grandmother, travelling across California. We went to Yosemite National Park, saw a Giants double-header at Candlestick Park, walked among the giant redwoods, saw Mt. Whitney, met our Uncle Cook (my grandmother's brother) and Aunt Wilma, went to our first rock concert (Pablo Cruise, NOT Santana as I has incorrectly recalled all this time), saw burrowing owls in the desert, learned to juggle from another uncle (Dan? John?), discussed the lyrics in a Cars song and debated the existence of God, washed our grandmother's boyfriend's cars, ate at Denny's for nearly every meal, met a 75-year-old who taught us how to balance salt shakers in a pile of salt, rode the roller coasters at Disney Land, and boogie-boarded in the Pacific Ocean. For a couple of barely-teenagers, this was quite an adventure.

Oh, and I stayed out of the bathrooms in the San Francisco airport per my mother's instructions. Apparently there were gay predators lurking there, just waiting for impressionable young teens to wander in so they could teach them to dress flamboyantly.

While we were talking and catching up, some guy kept making funny faces at Spud. That's who he's looking at in the photo, off to the right. Dude: get your own kid!

Swinging

2010-06-29T21:27:00.002-04:00

First time on the swings. Wheeeeee!

Grandpa's Birthday

2010-06-28T21:04:00.038-04:00

We packed Spud into the car and travelled up to Virginia to celebrate Grandpa Chadwick's 70th birthday last weekend. We celebrated at Mountain Lake, which is a nice old resort near a lake on a mountain. We stayed in a fancy tricked-out cabin in the woods.

Grandpa finished up his 60's with style. We toasted him with champagne.

He opened presents.

Grandma made him a cake. Candles were not considered prudent because the cake was not thought to be structurally sound. But it tasted good.

Grandpa got some quality time with Spud. Here he's teaching him the fine art of couch chillin'. By the time he is a teenager he will have perfected this skill.

Grandma got some quality time too.

Mountain Lake is where the movie 'Dirty Dancing' was filmed. Claire has seen this movie about 200 times. While we were there, Claire met a handsome and brooding dance instructor with a propensity for shirtlessness. Their love was doomed because he was from the wrong side of the tracks and because that puffy-haired girl got there first.

So we had to settle for visits to all of the movie-related locations on the hotel grounds, helpfully marked by signs.

Patrick Swayze stepped over this chain in the movie. I'm not sure if he was shirtless at the time or not.

The best part of the weekend for the rest of us was the delicious buffet food in the hotel. During one 24 hour period, I consumed no less that 5 pieces of pie and cake. I will star in a new sequel: 'Chubby Dancing'. Spud semed a little disgusted at the gluttony, but he put away a considerable amount of food himself.

There was a giant checker board. He played it using Spud rules, which involves pushing all of the pieces into one another and then off the board entirely. He also got to swim in the pool and got to swing on a real swing for the first time ever.

And even though "Nobody puts Baby in the corner", we did in fact put the baby in the corner.

Father's Day Uptown in the QC

2010-06-20T22:13:00.028-04:00

Charlotte is known as the "Queen City". I don't know why. Also, when you travel into the QC, you don't go "downtown", you go "uptown". Again, no clue. It's jes the way we do thangs roun these parts. We's good people.

Anyway, we went uptown to the QC today for Father's Day. But first, Claire made us a delicious breakfast of scrambled cheesey eggs, crispy turkey bacon, a melange of strawberries-raspberries-blueberries (aka berries), cantaloupe, and chocolate croissants. YUM. Spud thought it was just delicious. He ate it all, except he doesn't seem to care much for the cantaloupe. The food he wants most of all is the food you are eating. He points at it and says "At", which means, "I'd like to eat thAT, even though you are about to put it in your own mouth." He does this at every meal, and screeches intermittently if we don't hand it over at a reasonable interval. It's like having an affable but extremely pushy puppy.

Then a quick splash in the pool. Spud inherited his mother's disdain for cold water, so he hasn't enjoyed the pool experience much until today. It's been in the 90's the past few days, so the water is nice and warm-ish now. So it's mostly fun, although he does tend to avoid the open water and must cling to something. Either the edge, or Mommy.

Then we headed out. First to Amelie's French Bakery in NoDa for lunch. Claire got another chocolate croissant and I got an eclair. Spud pointed at both and got to sample some of each.

Then we headed further uptown to Trade and Tryon, the center of the city. On Sunday it's pretty quiet and you can actually find parking. We checked out the fountains. I think he was concerned at first that he was going to have to get in the water.

Notice our tropi-cool Father's Day shirts. Mucho aloha dude.

We examined the various streetside artworks on display.

We sauntered about in a park.

We snacked.

We thought some deep thoughts, and some shallow ones too, and we learned a little bit more about the great big world.

We strolled carefree under loving and watchful eyes and we belly-laughed and we soaked up the warm summer day.

Walking Tall

2010-06-11T22:48:00.007-04:00

I can't decide if he reminds me more of a drunken frat boy after his first 12-pack, or a ravenous zombie staggering in search of delicious brains.

One Giant Leap

2010-06-08T10:29:00.007-04:00

Spud has taken his first steps! For a few weeks now he has been able to stand straight up without assistance from a prop, and he has also been "cruising"; walking along, holding on to furniture and such or walking while holding our hands. Over the weekend, he put it all together. He stood straight up, got a determined look on his face, and then kind of stumbled for two steps before flailing back to the ground in a heap. But he did it! In the few days since, he has added more steps and is getting better and better. I'll add pictures as soon as he does it in front of the camera. In the meantime, here are some shots of Neil Armstrong's first steps onto the floor of a secret underground sound stage in a bunker in Arizona...I mean onto the virgin face of the Moon.

Tools

2010-05-31T19:25:00.017-04:00

One of the best ways to distinguish yourself from a helpless infant and from most non-primates is to develop skills with tools. We have started letting Spud brush his teeth (all six), and he has his very own little toothbrush stored next to our full-size toothbrushes in the bathroom.

The video below shows one of his first encounters with a fork.

Step 1: Try the fork.
Step 2: Bang yourself in the face with the bowl.
Step 3: Shake it off.
Step 4: Try the fork again.
Step 5: Give up and use your hands.

Here he is during a more conventional meal (manual feeding only). Veggie lasagna. We estimate that well over 80% of the food actually gets consumed. If you find yourself reminded of one of those gruesome vampire or werewolf movies that are so popular these days, well, you're not alone.

Stratospheric Spud

2010-05-26T13:08:00.015-04:00

Grandpa Chadwick came down for a visit this weekend. Claire and I took full advantage, abandoning Spud with Grandpa for extended periods of time so we could do chores, go to the bathroom for the first time in several weeks, etc. Grandpa didn't seem to mind.

Basic Facial Anatomy 101 class with Grandpa.

Grandpa was here to help launch SkyMiner-3, a weather balloon with "near-space" capsules built by some of my students, with instruments that recorded temperature, humidity, and ozone, and took pictures. We got a little delayed, and ended up launching in the middle of a massive rainstorm.

3-2-1 launch! (Yes, we contacted the FAA and followed all proper procedures so as not to bring down any transcontinental flights).

Claire and Spud were there for the launch. They brought yummy subs for us to eat while we drove after the balloon. Claire said that during the launch, Spud was mostly watching me instead of the balloon, because I was yelling and gesturing wildly. That doesn't sound like me at all.

Launching in the rain was somewhat unavoidable, but it wasn't such a great idea. Some of our cameras and instruments got a little waterlogged on the ascent. But we were able to track it successfully as it flew up 74,600 feet. We followed along and retrieved the capsules about 45 miles away and a couple of hours later.

You never know where you're going to land. Last time we did this, the capsules landed 60 feet up in a tree and we had to call the fire department to get them down! This time, they landed on the farm of a nice, bearded guy named Phil. Turns out he had done some work with weather satellites back in the 1960's, and was interested in our project and very happy that we had all descended on his property. His wife said that she had just bush hogged (city folk may need to look that one up) the field that the balloon landed in the day before. Thanks!

Candy bars from the stratosphere. Still cold!

The landing site.

Next time, we're sending Spud up.

Rockin' with Jam Master B.

2010-05-25T14:56:00.003-04:00

He's a crazy rock n' roller, with killer dancin' moves.

At the end, he jams his fist skyward, and you can almost hear him say "Freebird!".

If it's too loud, you're too old, man! You're like, over five.

Assisted Mobility

2010-05-15T12:39:00.004-04:00

He's walking! With a little help from his wheeled hippo.

Mommy's Day

2010-05-11T10:47:00.004-04:00

Happy Mommy's Day!

Mom got breakfast in bed, a trip to Goodwill to shop for bargain duds, a chocolaty chip frappaccino, and sushi dinner at Nakato. I would just like to point out that although Claire is actually Spud's Mother, SPud did not actually take the lead on any of these Mother's Day activities. He pretty much just tagged along as always.

One of the big perks of having spent a year on the planet is that he gets his car seat turned around, facing forward. The world now rushes toward him instead of rushing away from him. That has to be a little disconcerting. The bad news is, he is a terrible backseat driver.

"Hey. This car has FRONT seats??!"

Sushi!

'Babies' is in Theaters. We Saw it

2010-05-08T15:36:00.008-04:00

We saw 'Babies' last night, on the movie's opening night. It doesn't have car chases or explosions, so it might have a short run. It does have boobs, though. Lots. But not in a good way. We saw it with Missy and Jake, who also have had a baby recently. The irony is that we left our babies at home with babysitters in order to go see a movie about babies.

Spud could easily have starred in this movie, as could any other baby. They all face similar ordeals and trials as they push the envelope to become grown-ups. The Japanese, American, and Mongolian families all had cats, and there were several amusing cat-baby interactions similar to those that we are all too familiar with ourselves. The Africans had dogs; presumably they have eaten all of the cats, or more likely, simply realize that cats serve absolutely no useful purpose.

Review of 'Babies': "Awwwwww, Ewwww, Who’s a Good Baby?"
By A. O. SCOTT

Published: May 7, 2010
The French globe-trotting documentarian Thomas Balmès has taken up a delicate and treacherous assignment in his new film. Fanning out around the world — to the plains of Mongolia, the dusty grasslands of Namibia, the high rises of Tokyo and the streets of San Francisco — Mr. Balmès and his crew set out, about three years ago, to probe a network of mysterious creatures who speak a common idiom barely comprehensible to the rest of us. The film’s subjects are hard to understand and nearly impossible to resist. They project weakness and innocence, yet they also possess almost terrifying powers. And they are just so gosh-darn cute!

Frankly, it’s hard to know just what to say about “Babies,” which episodically chronicles the first year in the lives of four far-flung infants. “Awwwwww” would be a start and will no doubt be the sound you hear most frequently from the patrons around you, along with an occasional “ewwww,” a stray gasp of concern or disapproval — you know how anxious and judgmental parents can be — and intermittent laughter. If you have read any child-rearing manuals (or just stared guiltily at a bedside stack of them while dragging yourself toward the squalling bundle of wee-hours need in the next room), “Babies” may be both a puzzle and a relief.

It offers no advice or analysis, no talking-head rumination or voice-over explanation. The occasional snippets of grown-up dialogue are not accompanied by subtitles, which would be superfluous in any case. (But wouldn’t you love to know how to coo “who’s a good baby?” in Mongolian?) “Babies” is exactly what its title promises. It’s babies. And if you love babies you will find it very hard not to love “Babies.”

Is it that simple? I mean, who doesn’t love babies? Why isn’t this just a smattering of YouTube videos (“Baby Pulls Cat’s Tail,” “Baby Eats Banana,” etc.) stitched together into a feature film and accompanied by a peppy musical score? That’s kind of what it is, but the utter accessibility of the movie — even babies will enjoy watching “Babies”! — results as much from Mr. Balmès’s canny formal intelligence as from the intrinsic adorability of his subjects.

Which is not to be denied. Their names are Hattie, Mari, Bayarjargal and Ponijao, and they show themselves to be natural-born comedians, single-minded researchers, action heroes and disciplined workers, each in his or her own special way. They seem to possess distinctive personalities from the very beginning, and as they make their way through infancy, you watch their temperaments grow from bud to blossom.

You also note that while parental love transcends differences of geography and tradition, various cultures cultivate their fledgling members in different ways. Bayarjargal, in Mongolia, is first tightly swaddled and then, as his mobility increases, tethered to his yurt by a long cloth cord. Ponijao, in Africa, crawls about surrounded by a group of women, and her play mimics their daily tasks of grinding meal and preparing food.

In the metropolises of the developed world, Mari (in Japan) and Hattie (in California) are part of a structured world of work and leisure, surrounded by cellphones and computers and exposed to organized group activities that in some cases self-consciously try to mimic the rituals of agrarian and tribal societies.

In the one scene that can be taken as infantile satire, Hattie, at a music class featuring songs of praise to “the earth, our mother,” stands up and makes for the exit, as if fed up with the New Age mumbo-jumbo to which she has been subjected. Another brilliantly funny sequence cuts between Mari’s frustration as she tries to thread a wooden spindle onto a disc with a hole in it and Bayarjargal’s patient wrangling of a roll of toilet paper, which he bites into once it has arrived in his grasp. There is something profound and poignant in these struggles, which illustrate one of the fundamental tasks of babyhood: the mastery of the physical environment.

Other challenges confront these intrepid young travelers on what a philosopher once called the long forced march toward humanity: the aggression (and affection) of siblings and peers; the ways of other animals (cats in particular); the recognition and communication of basic emotions. And though they do their share of crying — they are babies, after all — Hattie, Ponijao, Bayarjargal and Mari all demonstrate remarkable stoicism in the face of a complicated universe. And the ultimate lesson of “Babies,” at least for non- (which is of course to say ex-) babies, is that being small, helpless and brand new is hard.

But hardly impossible. They grow, they learn, and they remind the rest of us of the astonishing power that is our common birthright. We are cast into the world as a bundle of reflexes, unable to focus our eyes, control our limbs or influence our environment in any way. Twelve months later we can walk, kiss, utter basic words and comprehend complicated utterances. It may be downhill from there: a movie called “Adolescents” or, heaven knows, “Grownups,” would hardly be as charming as “Babies.” But “Babies” just might restore your faith in our perplexing, peculiar and stubbornly lovable species.

“Babies” is rated PG (Parental Guidance suggested). Breast feeding.

Touchdown!

2010-05-01T09:42:00.004-04:00

Spud is getting better and better at mimicking. He claps when we clap, he meows when a cat meows, and he says "hello" ("huyaah!") into the telephone as he places it on his head (not necessarily in the location one would place it if one were having a telephone conversation).

Yesterday we taught him "Touchdown"!

A Week in the Life of a One-Year-Old

2010-04-29T16:23:00.016-04:00

Mornings: he sleeps about 11 hours and awakens at about 7-ish. We all hang out in bed for a while and have a bottle o' breakfast, usually accompanied by at least one cat.

Then he attempts to launch himself off the bed. He has no fear whatsoever of the 3 foot drop and the skull-cracking floor below. He just heads off into space. We have caught him every time, so far, and gently lower him down. We're going to have to teach him about the dangers of gravity at some point. Hopefully not the hard way.

He immediately heads for the answering machine, and plays all of the messages. I've had message #1 for 10 years. It's a wrong number, from some drunken dude. It says: "Heekey heekay uh. Damn, um." It's one of my most prized possessions, so I hope Spud doesn't hit the delete button. There's a message on there from Grandma Chadwick, in which she sings "You are My Sunshine" (first verse). He smiles and dances to the song.

Here he is holding court at Cabo Fish Taco in NoDA last week. They have outside tables now. Nice.

Here are some more pics from his birthday weekend. Thanks Erik! Here's a group shot.

Here he is getting passed from one grandparent to another, at Starbucks.

We all went to Raleigh earlier in the week so Claire could go to a technical training seminar thing, her very first business trip. We needed dinner on Monday night, and there was one restaurant within walking distance of the hotel. It was a Hooters. I was totally willing to drive to another place, but Claire said she didn't want to pack the baby in the car again and we should just go to Hooters. My wife is awesome.

The chicken sandwich was actually quite good.

Once Around the Sun

2010-04-24T22:00:00.012-04:00

The counter at the bottom of this page that enumerates the days since Spud's arrival has arrived at 365. A year ago, the two of us became the three of us.

Does it seem like the past year, a life-warping blur, has flown by in the blink of an eye? Yes. Does it seem like this wonderful little boy has been here almost forever? Yes.

Your birthday is the day that you get to be the center of attention. But Spud is the center of attention every day, so he didn't really notice anything different.

Grandparents Chadwick and Aunt Larissa and Uncle Eric drove down for the big event. They brought goodies!

Mommy made a banana bread cake with baby-friendly ingredients. It was delicious. I'm going to sneak some more after I publish this post.

Spud says: "Thanks to everyone for all my loot!" (The cat was not a gift).

In the following video, I suspect that he must have been asking himself the following questions:

1) Why is my food on fire?
2) Who are these people, and why do they ALL have cameras?

HAPPY BIRTHDAY! May you celebrate 101 more, and may they all be happy.

Walking and Talking

2010-04-12T14:38:00.000-04:00

Spud was sick from Thursday morning through Saturday morning, with a temperature at one point spiking above 103 degrees (Fahrenheit). Our baby book rule of thumb for a trip to the doctor is a temperature >104 degrees or over 3 days with a fever (or, of course, other noticeable symptoms, such as turning blue). So we took him to the doctor on Saturday morning, just around the time he started cooling down and feeling better. My truck does the same thing: that mysterious clanking noise under the hood vanishes when I take it to the shop.

He has made significant progress on two major fronts: communications and mobility. About a month ago, we noticed that when a cat came into the room, Spud would sometimes babble out the word "diddy" (which could of course be a reference to well-known rap artist P. Diddy.). At first, we thought it may have been random; he babbles a lot of words that sound a lot like actual words (see: Palin, Sarah), but over time it became more and more clear that he was putting the same letters together in reference to actual kitties in the room and was conjuring up his first word. He is officially off and talking!

He's also been saying "Daddy", although this is a tougher call. His favorite consonant by far has always been the letter D. For several months his favorite babble was "d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d". So it was an easy jump to "dee dee" and "daa daa" and finally "da dee". Make no mistake, I have been workin' "daddy" heavily, repeating it over and over until he repeats it. One might call this brainwashing. But it hasn't been clear if he's referring to me when he says it, or if he still just likes saying "D" words. Lately he's said it a few times when he actually looks at me, so it might be official word #2. This is entirely unfair to Claire, of course. He doesn't use "M" a lot yet. She carried Spud around for nine months and handled the Herculean 3 a.m. feedings and well over 50% of the diapers, while I've pretty much been mailing in the whole Daddy thing (ok, no not entirely true).

He's also trying to walk, with a little help. He went from total immobility to crawling to standing up (and a couple of days later, to standing up and sitting back down) in only a couple of months. Now, if we hold his hands, he can take little steps and walks around like a pro.

The thing about adult humans is, they are very rarely capable of rapid leaps forward in their physical or mental abilities. Improvement is slow, if it ever happens at all. Months on the StairMaster or years gathering and thoughtfully processing experiences and information are required before an adult person can smile and proclaim themselves to be New and Improved. Mostly, we slowly grow physically softer and emotionally stingier. Yes, Darth Vader went from kicking Luke's ass to giving him gentle fatherly advice in about 17 minutes of screen time. Yes, the Grinch's heart grew three sizes that day. But such rapid and profound changes just don't happen in the real world (baseball players on steroids notwithstanding).

Babies are different. Spud is just an amazing little rapidly-changing human. We are having so very much fun watching him grow up and figure this life stuff out.

The Babies Are Coming

2010-04-07T00:28:00.002-04:00

Just in time for Spud's birthday!

Bayanchandmani, Mongolia
Tokyo, Japan
Opuwo, Namibia
San Francisco, U.S.A.

and

Charlotte, U.S.A.

Easter

2010-04-06T22:55:00.011-04:00

Spud got to celebrate his first Easter (the second-best chocolate holiday, after Halloween) with his cousin Marcus, Aunt Megan, and Uncle Brian.

This is Marcus. He is a cool little boy. Claire and I study him carefully so we'll know what life will be like 8 months down the road. It's going to be busy!

Claire and Megan dyed some eggs. Some of the eggs had unusual red patters, as if they had been wounded in some horrible accident. Humpty Dumpty had a great fall, and bled out of his femoral artery.

We had an egg hunt. As you can see, the eggs were well-hidden: just a bit out of the range of his peripheral vision.

He found them! To be honest, at first he ignored the eggs and was more interested in the grass and old dry leaves. We ended up piling the eggs right in front of him.

And inside the eggs...?

Yummy graham crackers!

Big Tub

2010-04-03T20:19:00.005-04:00

Aunt Megan and Uncle Brian and Cousin Marcus are visiting for Easter weekend. Spud normally takes his baths in the guest bathroom, but this weekend he's bathing in the really big tub in the master bathroom. It's like a swimming pool in there! We played "Here comes the tsunami!" He loved it.

Books That Make Baby Cry

2010-04-01T22:34:00.018-04:00

I bought Spud a new board book today during our excursion to the mall. It's called "Sweet Dreams Maisy" about a mouse and her animal friends. These friends include a cat and an alligator, both of whom would probably attack and eat Maisy in the real world, and strew her entrails around the house (like Baxter did to a rodent just this past weekend). In all of Spud's books, everyone is smiling, nobody ever gets injured, and carnivore and prey hold hands and sing songs. All is happy and safe in Baby World.

But then there are other books that we may not want to expose him to, for various reasons.

I don't think anyone needs to know all that much about poo, for example. I prefer to be blissfully ignorant of the entire poo process. Food in, poo out. End of story. I certainly do not want to go on a long journey with poo. I was on a flight to L.A. with a guy that smelled like he hadn't showered in about 2 weeks. That was a long journey with Mr. Poo.

And you sure as hell don't want to cook with it. At least the poo appears to be in small morsels.

This next book very likely provides too much information, and will lead to questions that nobody wants to answer. By the way, Mommy will be answering those questions.

He's not getting this next book, because there is no damn toilet in front of this kid. What, you can just pee wherever the hell you want?

And yeah, who the hell cares about disabled people?

This next one, actually, Claire might read to Spud someday. On those quiet nights when I'm down at the county lockup sleeping it off.

Sunny and Warm, With a Chance of Snakes

2010-03-27T18:27:00.014-04:00

Spring Arrives!

We arrived home from the baseball game to find a small snake in the house. It's likely that our cats Baxter and Sophie, feeling neglected over the past year, may have come up with a diabolical scheme to have the serpent assassinate the baby. Baxter brings us all sorts of fun dead things and parts of dead things throughout the year, but this was the first live snake. The animal was unharmed and removed without incident.

We also apparently have lots of ants in the house today. Maybe the snakes will eat the ants.

In other reptile news, one of our neighbors found a slightly larger reptile in their pool. This sign is posted outside of the coffee shop.

Beach Baby, part II

2010-03-24T14:58:00.013-04:00

We stopped in Hilton Head on the way home from Florida last week to stay with our colleague-friends Missy and Jake (they are the other husband and wife team in the Dept. of Geography at UNCC) for a couple of days. Missy's family owns a condo close to the beach. We took it easy, made good food, slummed at the coffee shop, and strolled on the beach.

Turns out strollers don't work so well in soft sand, and you have to stroll backwards until you get to the hard-packed stuff near the water. I'm going to have to get some bigger tires on the stroller.

Missy and Jake have made their own new baby human as well, named Lawson. He's about 3 months old. Spud was very interested in Lawson, and perhaps considered giving him the shake test, or the finger poke test at the very least. After protecting Spud for 11 months against all threats real or imagined, Claire and I considered Spud a physical threat to somebody else for a change! He's a big ass-whippin' bruiser baby now, comparatively speaking.

Hilton Head was setting up for their St. Patrick's Day parade.

Hilton Head is in South Carolina. So you have to expect at least one Confederate flag and at least one deer head. These guys had both!

Stand-Up Guy

2010-03-17T10:42:00.014-04:00

Alternate title: "What Goes Up, Must Come Down, Eventually, But Might Not Necessarily Come Down Without Some Assistance"

He's learned to stand up by pulling up on tables, chairs, his iPads, his pack n' play, and whatnot. So he's almost just like a real human now! He stands up at every opportunity, and he's gotten pretty good at it. There's one small problem, though. He doesn't really know how to un-stand himself. He'll just hang there indefinitely unless someone comes along and helps him to sit down, or he just falls down. He's taken a couple of ugly de-standing spills, so he doesn't have much confidence in his un-standing ability. As we all know, once you are out there, high above the Earth, it's important to be able to bring yourself home for a safe landing. Just ask those guys on Apollo 13. So we've been practicing his dismount.

Added bonus: now he can reach the toxic houseplants!

Notice that he's dressed in his green St. Patrick's Day duds. Either that, or he's going to grow up to be The Riddler.

Super Baby XLIV

2010-03-16T14:11:00.002-04:00

Drew Brees has just won the Super Bowl, has been named MVP of the game and the NFL. He's surrounded by tens of thousands of adoring fans and has given a little hope to a drowned city. Confetti falls from the sky.

Who does he want to share it all with? His baby boy and his wife, of course!

Where can I get some of those headphones? They might come in handy the next time we try to take Spud to the movies.

Road Trip

2010-03-13T15:40:00.014-05:00

Here are some random pics from our Spring Break trip to Naples.

As always, he was a champ in the car. Napped and played and ate and watched the world go by.

Mommy, Grandma, Bailey, and Spud.

Claire turned 31 on Saturday. Happy Birthday! One of her favorite websites is Cake Wrecks, devoted to the horrible and humorous mistakes that happen in bakeries. So I got her an intentional "Cake Rex", with a poorly drawn dinosaur and some spacing issues.

He gets comfortable and puts his feet up a lot in the stroller. He is workin' the cuteness in this picture (Awwww Score: 8.2).

At the Waterside Shops in Naples. Fancy shops for fancy folks. It was a nice walk on a warm day.

In the back yard. New things to examine and shake test and attempt to chew on: pine cones, pine needles, sand, and bark.

Claire's friend Lindsay visited with us and took a turn on Baby Duty.

Grandpa and Spud read a book.

Aloha! It's Magnum, B.I.

Changes in Latitude, Changes in Attitude

2010-03-11T22:01:00.010-05:00

We have been in Florida, visiting Grandparents Grimm and soaking up some warm sunshine. There is no better way to recharge a cold soul in the waning months of a bleak winter than to head south to warmer latitudes and sit on a tropical (or sub-tropical, if you want to get technical) beach, slather on sunscreen, and stare dumbfounded at the waves and palm trees and your extremely white legs poking out of the shorts that you haven't worn since September. You can feel the sunshine and warm breeze recharge your spirit, like the battery on your favorite personal electronic gizmo.

I strongly advocate vacations as a way to physically and mentally remove yourself from your dusty daily routines and allow you to look at your life from the outside and find some perspective. After a few days in your temporary vacation mode, you realize that those problems you had to deal with back home weren't necessarily all that dreadful.

There's one small hitch: routines are good if you want babies to sleep through the night. Spud's been getting good 10-11 hour nights of sleep for a couple of months, but he's fallen off the wagon a little on the trip. Also, tooth #3 is here, which probably isn't helping.

The highlight of the trip was Spud's first visit to the beach. When we arrived at the beach he was napping. He's used to waking up in all sorts of different places (the Mall, school, the park, the grocery store), but this time it was an entirely new ecosystem. He groggily took in the waves and sandy beach and was a little intimidated at first, but it grew on him.

Spud and Hobbes

2010-03-09T21:57:00.003-05:00

It's strange to realize that he isn't going to remember anything that's happening now. I'm impatient for the time when he can talk and interact and give us his impressions of things.

Caged, Like Some Kinda Wild Animal

2010-03-08T14:38:00.010-05:00

He's become increasingly mobile. He can crawl at high speeds now (although his crawling style can still be best described as "drunk tarantula") and a few days ago he pulled himself up into a standing position. We can no longer place him in a safe location someplace with a toy or a bottle and expect him to stay put. On the contrary, when he's put down, he seems to be compelled to crawl toward the nearest breakable or dangerous item in sight. In a room filled with 98 fun and colorful new toys, one expensive and breakable Faberge egg, and one venomous rattlesnake, he would climb over the toys in order to grab the snake and use it as a bullwhip to destroy the Faberge egg.

So we have cordoned off our former "dining" room (number of times "dined" in: two) with baby gates to create a place to dump him while I use the bathroom and to protect the breakable items in our house. Er, I mean, to create a safe, carpeted, and fun environment for him to play and learn in.

We put all of his toys in there and he can play with whatever he wants. He especially likes his brightly-colored electronic button-pushy-flashy-light-sing-songs-musical busy boxes (one from Grandparents Grimm and the other from the McCormick's...thanks!). He calls them his "iPads". He sometimes works on both at once.

"How do you get the Internet on these things?"

No cage will hold him for long.

Magazine Boobs: Not As Good As Real Boobs

2010-02-27T18:50:00.010-05:00

Like all normal babies (and normal puppies), Spud likes to chew on things. He especially likes paper products, including paper towels, book covers, the New York Times, business cards, and magazines. He grabs these objects, examines them carefully and gives them the shake test, and sooner or later will attempt to chew on them. Usually we grab the objects away before the snacking begins, but not always.

Today he got hold of a magazine with Christie Brinkley on the back cover. A while back he began to recognize people in pictures and smile at them, particularly pictures of himself. Then along came Christie, asking if he's "Got Milk"? This was no normal chewing event, this was the first example of Targeted Chewing.

This is a short post, so I'll add some gratuitous cute sleepy baby photos. Awwwwww.

[The Olympics aren't on right now, so I was flipping the channels. I found an infomercial for St. Jude's Children's Hospital. Lots of little kids sick with cancer, going through chemotherapy and radiation. Little kids dying from cancer, and movie stars asking viewers to please donate to the hospital. Shit. I went upstairs and gave Spud a hug. If I was in charge, the military budgets of the world would be sent to St. Jude's. Imagine.]

The Most Disgusting Baby in the Known Universe

2010-02-24T11:57:00.011-05:00

Perhaps I exaggerate. Perhaps not.

We celebrate his 10th month (unofficial stats: length 29 inches [still?], weight: 21.5 lbs) on planet Earth with the following horrifying incident:

[this morning]

John: [sniffing] I think he pooped.

Claire: Mm hmm.

John: [hears natural and unnatural sounds coming from baby}: Yeah, definitely pooped.

Claire: Do you want me to change him?

John's internal monologue: Yes.

John's actual voice: No, I'll do it. You cleaned the cat pans.

Here's what I should have said: Yes. Because the baby deposited something in his diaper that was not of this Earth, and had a volume that was larger than the actual baby. After changing him, the following activities were required:

a) the baby needed a bath
b) I needed a shower
c) the onesie, sweatshirt, and socks he was wearing had to be washed immediately
d) so did the diaper changing pad and 400 square ft. of wall-to-wall carpeting
e) the garbage bag, though only 1/8 full, was tossed onto the front porch
f) the baby was tossed onto the front porch*

*considered, but not actually acted upon

After the detoxifying process was complete: